Bereft Friend
- Relationship

How to comfort a bereft friend

Human life is full of joys and sorrows. The grieves in our life are related to different types of losses. Numbness, agitation, loneliness, depression, anger, and guilt are few of the common feelings that come with grief. These leave you bereft. Some of the pains are intense, while some can be forgotten easily. It all depends on how the person thinks or is attached emotionally with the thing he lost.  

Comforting your loved ones is not an easy task. It is essential to know how you can handle them during the trouble. Let us know how we can comfort or help them during the delicate period of life.

  1. Understanding their feelings: It is a must that you should understand a person’s problems before responding. Your empathy will work magically if you can understand the feelings or attachment of a person. Always acknowledge their feelings without any judgment.  
  2. No comparison: Do not ever compare the grief of one person with that of others. Everyone has a different set of beliefs, emotional bonding, and personal experiences, so the comparison should be avoided completely.
  3. Be available: Try to be available whenever they require you. Make a call or put a text that you are available for them. You don’t need to be present physically with them, but sometimes moral support works more.  
  4. Working with the affirmation: Listen to the person carefully before you start speaking. Don’t go on telling your stories without knowing the actual situation. Understand their grief before giving advice. Always show your genuine support by understanding their circumstances.
  5. Don’t suppress their pain: Don’t try to change the topic when you are meeting with a person in trouble. Let them express their emotions without any interruption. Create an environment where they are free to express their feelings because it gives a sense of respect and kindness.
  6. Identify the triggering situations: Certain situations such as birthdays and anniversaries can sometimes trigger grief, so know the days when your loved ones need you more. 
  7. Physical affection only if needed: Comforting someone is good, but know how much physical warmth or touch is required. Your expressions should match the relationship you share.
  8. Be sensitive:  Use your words very carefully. Think before you act or say something. Give hope that things will be fine soon. Assure and be kind and have compassion whenever you are with them.
  9. Be specific while helping:  Helping someone in grief is a great idea, but it should not touch emotional boundaries or give a sense of helplessness. 
  10. Be patient:  Be patient with a bereft person. Assure them you are there for them and be patient while dealing with them. A person in grief goes through a lot of emotions, and sometimes they find it challenging to maintain a balance between present and their loss, so be patient and give them space until everything goes well. Everyone needs time to adjust and recover from the grief, so be patient. 
  11. Give a solution: Give a solution only if they require it. Don’t be in a hurry to pop up with a solution.

Help in as many ways as you can to get your bereft friend back to normal.

Utpal Khot

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